Why Does Losing Burn So Deep...?

I am annoyed, frustrated at myself, at my team, but mostly at myself. That feeling of having missed an opportunity. Just letting it slip out of your hands. AAAGGHHH! I know it's only a recreational basketball league, but for some reason it doesn't make the bass full effect go away. It's burning my chest with energy. I want to punch and kick and pound and I do, but the satisfaction just lasts a few seconds. Then as I remember WHY I am screaming it ALL comes burning back. The best thing is to get my head away from it, but not until I let out my thoughts and feelings about it.
We should have never been behind in the score. I should have not sat down for the beginning of the second half. When I did sit down, the guard I was defending #3 who was definitely Jeremy Lin (From the New York Knicks) inspired I'm sure for he easily reminded you of the frail Asian body style and messed up hair of Mr Lin scored 7 straight points to go ahead by 5. That broke our momentum. Then we were playing catch up even though the score was tied with about 2 minutes remaining. The same thing happened the last time we played this team. They beat us by 4 in the last couple of minutes. Previous to that we beat them by a margin of about 8. Still, we had to play the fouling game and rush a play, which I wanted to give to Jason, but my weak a$$ pass never made it. It got picked off and then on our next possession Justin got a shot up, but it went off and no foul was called.
Aggressiveness. I said I wanted to be more aggressive and I was throughout the game, driving to the basket for 2-3 buckets, 2 post buckets and a couple of rebounds and put backs in the paint. The Most Important Play when we needed it most in order to at least tie the game and I throw a weak pass as I stared at Jason in the paint. Thinking that ball was going to get there. SO I have to work on my decision making skills. Justin mentioned once that he was wide open to my right, but I forced it into the post on the left. I do realize that when I am looking to make a play on one side I tend to forget about what may develop on the other side. I feel like if it is done right you can make something out of it, but that mentality isn't always there with every team mate. That's why practicing is important and communicating all along. Even though this league was several months long no one ever spoke about the games, strategies, practice etc. We would email but no one really got into it. I mean it was a recreational league. Not that important for most folks. Anyway, I must move on. This thought is tiring me out and I have lots of other exciting things going on, but I don't want to think about it and it creeps back....Round and Round.

Paolo managed to get me thinking about something else and it felt great! I forgot all about the lost recreational playoff game. He went to the potty, saw that it was not aligned, set his target and went number 1 for the first time. Finally! After Ava has been going potty for two weeks already. It's a start though. Then I get some news that my first a cacao seedling I sent to Oklahoma made it safely. That was exciting. More to come. Check out www.TREEcenter.info

Lists, Lists, Lists...

They're the only thing that bring me peace of mind. I truly can not rest worrying that I may have forgotten something, but it also helps in another way too. When I look back at this week for example which seems to fly by like 24 hours do I can actually see on my lists ALL that has been achieved.  Knowing the effort and life energy you put in to a week of your "doings" whatever they may be and then reading and seeing the achievement in the finished tasks and crossed out line items just soaks your senses with that feeling and recognition of accomplishment. Just make sure you have an overall goal in mind of course.
My noteworthy Android app for notes has been AK Notepad by Catch.com, but I ALWAYS have my hand written calender (Daily Calendar by AT-A-Glance). Electronics are supposed to make our lives easier, but really just make life more difficult by making us dependent on them and then they can easily just crash, freeze, delete with one click...UGGHH! Well that's my opinion and experience at least. Just keep progressing and achieving your goals of course!